The ridiculous thing is that I would also be upset if I did get it as I don't want to leave the job that I'm in at all, but there has been no real pay rise in 3 years, no sign of any in the future and no chance of career development at all unless I manage to get one of the rare duty manager jobs.
It's time to move on but I'm scared. Scared I'll hate the corporateness of working for the council, having to take my piercings out and look plain and not myself, dealing with so much bullshit and fearing budget cuts and redundancy. Jen reckons its a necessary move to get a better pension and pay, but I feel sick at the thought of it.
Working in local authority could be a gateway to so much that I want to do though. Argh.
Also the house is stressing me out again as development seems to have come to a standstill and I just want to enjoy summer and not be sitting in darkened rooms sorting out filing and painting.
So tired and know that my mood is not good recently.
Working with the personal trainer and MyFitnessPal to try to fight the ever present doom that is my weight but progress is slow. How can I weigh almost the same eating salad and exercising hard twice a week as I did eating crap and doing nothing?
*wanders off mumbling*